is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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