they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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