I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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