VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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