I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
