He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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