With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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