After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i've created a new STD.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
