if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I think i got beer on your cat.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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