i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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