We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
