he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
