Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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