My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
