margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
