Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
