All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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