Banned from zoo.
Again?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
