I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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