we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
