I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
soo... how was my night?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
