Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
