then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
