she woke up with a sticky ear
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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