He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
