He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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