I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
