3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
he wants to bone in the snuggie
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
