i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Im part way to drunk.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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