Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
