Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
