my vag is so smooth its legendary
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
