'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
