One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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