dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
i think im in europe. pls send help
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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