he puts the penis in happiness.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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