didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
