break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
