scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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