Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
