Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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