i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
so much tequila, so little girl.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
