didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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