Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize