I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
