So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
