I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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