Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
she looked like the before picture.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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