Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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