We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
