She is in my trunk
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
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